The Florida Keys Have a Lousy Domain Name

Two posts in a day! (And they’re my first two posts all month.)

I was watching CNN this morning, and right after Howie Kurtz spanked Sports Illustrated for failing to be seriously journalistic about its bikini photography, they cut to an advertisement for the Florida Keys — perfectly normal tourism stuff. At the end of the advert, the announcer suggested checking out the tourism board’s website at “FLA,” that is to say, what I heard was “eff ell ay keys dot com,” which one would expect would be written out as “” Of course, one would probably read such a domain name as “flakeys dot com,” which is maybe not the image the Keys want to promote. That would explain why the domain name that appeared at the bottom of my screen was “”. But the announcer had made no mention of the hyphen.

Naturally, that got me wondering. I was online at the time, and I might not have been looking at the eye of hell while the ad was running, so I would have thought the site was located at What would happen if I tried to navigate to that address?

Sure enough, a request for redirects (via a 302 instead of a 301 — stupid IIS) to, so those flakey Floridians at least have that covered.

But couldn’t they have gotten a domain name that would both allow them to easily say and spell the address the same way (that is, without the much-despised hyphen) and not require a redirect? That question led to some quick exploration:

  • Florida Keys, which looks like it could be the official site of the local tourism board, complete with a “Florida Keys” logo, is owned by a company called Cooke Communications, which apparently publishes some local newspapers and magazines.
  • is the home of “Best of the Florida Keys,” which is kind of archaic looking. Dig the animated gif of the hurricane on the home page!
  • is a local realtor.

    And what of the hyphenated variations?

  • is apparently for sale and is currently hosting one of those parked made-for-AdSense “search” pages.
  • is registered to some guy in New Jersey, but nothing is published there.
  • contains a meta refresh that sends the user to, which then fires a script that redirects to, which in turn fires another JS redirect to, where you’re hit with yet another script that send you off to (wheeeeeeeeee!), which is another sponsored search page.

It seems that unless they’re willing to buy what could be a pretty costly domain name, the folks at the official tourism council got beaten to the punch. Flakeys indeed.

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It’s All in the Branding

This site is probably going to be almost as busy as the NYFT today. Of course, since little of that traffic is likely to be coming from the Amarillo area, it’s not likely to make the owner rich.

Joe the Plumber

This isn’t the Joe the Plumber who was referred to some 25 times during last night’s debate. It’s just the lucky domain name owner of the day.

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Talking About a URL

.com keysWhen you talk about a URL, what do you say? Actually, before we even get to that, how do you say “URL”? I’ve already given my own answer away by writing “a URL” (yoo-arr-ell) rather than “an URL” (erl). Similarly, I make my living as an SEO (ess-ee-o) rather than a SEO (see-o).

Honestly, this interweb business is young enough that a lot of the terminology isn’t standardized, and similarly, many of the acronyms don’t have a set pronunciation. That will change with time, I’m sure. After all, nobody pronounces “scuba” (ess-see-yoo-bee-ay) — at least I hope not.

So, back to the question at hand: when you say a URL, just what do you say? Do you include all its parts, using the official generic syntax of scheme, authority, path, query, and fragment? Don’t be silly, of course you don’t.

As more and more people go online and become accustomed to these things, it’s become pretty standard to leave out the “http://”. Even the “www” (which really shouldn’t be necessary) is left out most of the time. Just look at an ad in print or on the eye of hell. The web site is usually just represented as And you really can, in most cases, just type that into your browser’s location bar. The browser will go with the default protocol of http, and the server, when reached, will add a trailing slash and sometimes the www as well.

David LettermanOf course, there will always be exceptions, like this guy:

LETTERMAN: Can I just take a second here, Larry — I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt — to give our World Wide Web address. If people want to e-mail us, we’re on the World Wide Web as well.

KING: You are too? What is it?

LETTERMAN: wwwww.comcomcom — – So give us some of that e-mail…

What about the directory or the file name? If you want to send someone to a document other than the home page, you have to go further than just the domain name, right? Nope. There are ways around that too.

CNN keeps their political news in a /politics/ directory, but apparently they were concerned that telling people to go to cnn dot com slash politics (which would end up taking them to after the browser and the server had their way with the request) was asking too much of them, so they’ve made it easier. You can simply go to cnnpolitics dot com.

And what happens when you request that URL? Your browser adds the http://, so a request gets sent to the server at From there, you figure the server would tack on the www and the trailing slash, right?

Wrong again. The server responds with a status code of 302 (“found”) and redirects the request to So why tell people to go to the domain? I suppose part of the reason is that they registered the domain name in order to keep anyone else from getting it, but I think it’s pretty safe to assume that they chose to use it and redirect it to make things easier for the user. Apparently, it’s easier to communicate cnnpolitics dot com than cnn dot com slash politics, especially when it’s spoken rather than printed.

What can we take away from this? Apparently, it’s that slashes are problematic. Maybe that’s because a standard keyboard has two different kinds of slashes: the forward slash and the backslash. When a person says “slash,” they almost invariably mean the forward slash, but I suppose it could still cause some confusion. When I say “guitar,” do you think of an electric guitar, an acoustic guitar, or what? Certainly, when the electric guitar was new to the world, “guitar” meant acoustic guitar, just like one used to be able to say “television” to mean a black and white television, then at some point one would specify “color television” for the new technology. Eventually, there would be a point at which you couldn’t just say “television” because you might have been referring to either color or black and white. Now, just about every television is color, so one can say “black and white television” and just “television” for color. And we’ll go through this again with digital, high definition, etc.

But with slashes, it seems that despite the fact that there’s a general understanding that “slash” means “forward slash,” it’s not understood widely enough, and some have decided to find ways around it. Hence, if you own enough domains, you don’t mind setting up redirects every time you publish a new document, and you don’t care about how hard your poor defenseless server has to work, you can just feed people domain names to direct them to your pages.

There’s another option out there, but it pretty much relies on people understanding what slashes are for and which ones are kosher on the web. Shell has been running spots on the eye of hell of late, promoting how hard they’re working to clean up the environment and find alternative, clean sources of energy. As if. Basically, it’s one of those “please don’t hate us, we need those enormous profits more than you know” campaigns.

At the end of the spot, they tell you to go to for more information. That’s the URL you see on the screen, but the voiceover says, “shell dot com [pause] us [pause] realenergy.” Is that helpful? If you’re not looking at the screen when you hear this, will you know what to make of those pauses?

And what happens when you try to go to

HTTP/1.1 301 Moved Permanently
Server: Sun-ONE-Web-Server/6.1
Date: Mon, 07 Apr 2008 20:10:07 GMT
Content-length: 0
Content-type: text/html

You get redirected to the URL with the www. From there…

HTTP/1.1 301 Moved Permanently
Server: Sun-ONE-Web-Server/6.1
Date: Mon, 07 Apr 2008 20:11:40 GMT
Content-length: 0
Content-type: text/html
Connection: close

You get the slash added at the end via a redirect. After that, you get a 200 response at the new URL, hit a bunch of JavaScript and then…

<meta http-equiv=”refresh” content=”1; URL=”> </meta>

A meta refresh to a subdomain of, without the www, and with some personalization, based on a flash sniffer and most likely my IP address.

As it turns out, they could have told me to go to (look mom, no slashes!), and I’d have ended up in the same place. But I suppose subdomains are even harder to communicate than any of that other stuff.

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Know Your Audience

I was doing some research last week, looking for niche directories in the medical/health vertical, and there are quite a few out there. Some of them are quite general, others deal with specific parts of the field, such as various medical specialties, exercise and fitness, alternative health care, men’s health, and women’s health. One site in the latter category is the aptly named Women Health Links.

Based on its content, it looks to be a serious, authoritative site. I didn’t see any trashy or off-topic listings. The directory doesn’t have a ton of backlinks, but they all seem to be on topic. It’s been online for a couple of years, and it looks like it’s updated on a monthly basis.

It’s pretty clear why the site exists: to provide access to trusted sites that provide information on women’s health — sites on reproductive health, sexuality, menopause, pregnancy, abortion, infertility, etc. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that women make up the majority of the directory’s users.

And that makes me wonder why the advertising the directory displays is the sort you see below, in the lower-left of the image.

page from

Oooh. Hotties. Babes galore. Just what every red blooded male breeder wants.

Anna Nicole Smith in an advertisementHere’s another ad from the site:

But how many red blooded male breeders are checking out this site? Yes, I was there, but I was on the clock, so I didn’t click any of the adverts. Had I been on my own time… yowzah! (Well, maybe not.) Could I have been wrong in assuming that the directory’s audience was mostly female? No, I don’t think so. I certainly don’t think that anyone hoping to find porn is going to go to a directory about women’s health.

Maybe these ads are for porn sites for women… No, only if those women are looking for pictures and videos of women. And this doesn’t look like porn that’s being marketed to lesbians. I’ve been shown such things by real, live lesbians, and this ain’t it.

So what’s going on with these ads? They’re being served by a company called CPX Interactive. So, what do they have to say about themselves?

CPX is a different kind of ad network, focused on leveraging the underlying truths of the Internet to unlock unprecedented efficiency in the buying and selling of online display advertising. Advertisers leverage the network to receive optimized global reach at dynamically efficient pricing, while Publishers realize the benefit of 100% inventory fill technology.

The underlying truths of the Internet, such as “everyone loves boobies,” I suppose. And how do they do it?

Campaigns are continually optimized across our entire network, shifting placements, on-the-fly, toward sites where the offer is converting most cost effectively and away from those that are not.

How it works:

  1. Specific campaign goals and targeted audiences are honed.
  2. Maximum CPM necessary to deliver on goals is identified, based on historical data.
  3. Campaign is trafficked with a RON strategy developed to reach targeted audience, maintain maximum designated CPM and efficiently deliver ROI goals.
  4. Placements and CPMs are continuously monitored across network and optimized, in real-time, based on client’s specific goals and strategies.
  5. Conversion efficiency is continually “ratcheted down” as system “learns” perfect network mix for specific campaign.

So apparently the system has “learned” that straight porn delivers the best ROI for this site.

Drill-Down Targeting

Unlimited dynamically-created demographic channels.

More than 20 pre-defined psychographic interest channels (with more than 200 subchannel categories):

  • Arts & Humanities
  • Fashion & Beauty
  • Entertainment
  • Automotive
  • Hobbies & Interest
  • Family, Home, & Health
  • Business / Finance
  • Lifestyle
  • Shopping & Retail
  • Career & Education
  • News & Reference
  • Sports
  • Dating & Social Networking
  • Science, Tech, & Web
  • Travel & Leisure

So which of those categories would include Your Tit Parade? Maybe a better question would be whether any of them doesn’t include it.

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Google Playing Dumb

I noticed today that someone came to my site recently via a Google search for [how to seo my site]. I’ve never checked that one before (and I sincerely doubt it’s ever brought me any business), so I ran the search myself, and found that my site is in fact number one, showing up before a couple of pages from Webmaster Guidelines. Pretty cool, apart from the fact that it’s a search just about nobody ever runs, and I’m not likely to ever earn a penny from any traffic it brings me.

Google results for the query how to seo my site

Then I noticed something else about the SERP. Have a look:

Google results for the query how to seo my site

Did you mean: how to use my site

Who do they think they’re fooling? Suddenly Google’s forgotten that “SEO” is a word? Sure, the acronym isn’t usually used as a verb, but I’ll bet more people are curious about how to seo a site than how to use one. After all, sites can be used in lots of different ways. The question is terribly unclear. You’d think that a search on [how to use my site] would bring up Did you mean: how to seo my site. It doesn’t.

I for one find this a bit insulting. I know Google doesn’t have the utmost respect for people in my line of work, but to pretend we don’t exist? That’s cold, Google.

Let’s look at Google’s competition. Maybe one or two of them will be more respectful.

  • Ask has no problem with the query. In fact, they put a couple of videos about SEO in the right column, and a link to “Seo Tips” in the left.
  • MSN doesn’t seem to be having any difficulty figuring out what the user is looking for.
  • Yahoo has the gall to ask, “Did you mean: how to see my site.” Duh. People really ask that? You’re looking at a browser right now, genius.

Worst of all, my site doesn’t show up on any of the SERPs apart from nasty, disrespectful Google. So am I better off with an engine that ignores me, or one that recommends me while pretending I’m a typographical error?

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Supermarket 2.0

It’s shopping the ultra-modern way: Tags! UGC! Wish lists! Feeds! Wiki!

Hat tip to Brand Infection.

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Say It Ain’t So, Karina

Karina StenquistThe interwebs are weeping tonight. Karina Stenquist, host of Mobuzz TV and my absolute favorite American expat who does a vlog from Madrid, has retired. She did her goodbye show on Friday.

For those not familiar with her work, she is a wondrous combination of smart, snarky, geeky, and sexy. And as fond as I am of Joanne Colan and Cali Lewis/Luria Petrucci, neither of them can match Karina’s on-air (do you call it on-air when it’s online?) banter. And she has a pierced tongue. Gotta love that.

Here’s an example of Karina working it on the show. You think Dan Rather ever went this far to report a story? Not a chance.

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Fun With Paranoia

Andy Beal points us to this video that suggests that Google may be using all the data it collects for… evil.

Yikes! This means that there may be a clone of qwerty at the Googleplex performing slave labor! And I’ll just bet that the clones there aren’t given access to all the great benefits they give the human googlers: free gourmet food, health care, daycare, massages, company stock, lava lamps… I guess “do no evil” doesn’t apply to artificially generated people.

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Congrats to Randfish and Mystery Guest

Danny, Rand and GeraldineYou may have heard about some guy called “JP” who was trying to raise money to propose to his girlfriend on the broadcast of the Überbowl last week. I wasn’t really following along with it myself, although I’d seen a few mentions of it in the various search marketing sites I read. JP had a blog called “” and he was getting some publicity assistance from , a well-known search marketer. JP even got interviewed on Good Morning America.

The plan to get the proposal broadcast during the feetsball game fell through, but JP ended up recording the proposal at a local TV station that broadcast it during last night’s episode of Veronica Mars.

It turns out that JP is none other than Rand Fishkin, aka , a highly respected (and far more famous than your faithful servant, qwerty) search marketer. The video of his proposal to Geraldine, aka is here, and here’s her response. That’s them in the picture. The guy on the left is , Godfather of Search.

The weird coincidence is that I had emailed Rand yesterday because I’d read a post at Think Progress that indicated that this week’s episode of VM was going to be spreading misinformation about the morning after pill. I figured they’d be watching, since Geraldine had written about how much she likes the show, but I had no idea they had a much bigger reason to watch.

So I’m making a rare exception and writing a post here that’s at least somewhat related to my work, just to say congratulations to Rand and Geraldine. Now the big question is what couple name they’re going to be given, since they’re such a famous pair in our little world of search… let me think…

  • Randaldine
  • Gerafish
  • Mystery Fish
  • Gerand
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