Dear Karl,

Remember back in 2000, when John McCain won the New Hampshire primary and it looked like he was going to roll on to the Republican nomination? Remember what you did to add a little friction to his momentum?

Karl RoveRove invented a uniquely injurious fiction for his operatives to circulate via a phony poll. Voters were asked, “Would you be more or less likely to vote for John McCain…if you knew he had fathered an illegitimate black child?” This was no random slur. McCain was at the time campaigning with his dark-skinned daughter, Bridget, adopted from Bangladesh.

It worked. Owing largely to the Rove-orchestrated whispering campaign, Bush prevailed in South Carolina and secured the Republican nomination. The rest is history — specifically the tragic and blighted history of our young century. It worked in another way as well. Too shaken to defend himself, McCain emerged from the bruising episode less maverick reformer and more Manchurian candidate.

You know how good you are, don’t you Karl? McCain knows it too, and that’s why he’s taking the advice of you and your acolytes, even after stating in 2000 that there must be “a special place in hell” reserved for you lot.

I’ve got a little tip for you, and I think it’s going to help McCain big-time. What if we spread a rumor that Barack Obama has two black babies? Can you imagine how that would trash his image? Having two black babies is twice as bad as having one. Nobody’s going to vote for Obama when they hear about this, whether it’s true or not.

Two. Black. Babies. Wow.

I’m just amazed you didn’t come up with this one yourself, Karl. I hope you’re not going soft in your old age.

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