Archive for November, 2008

Liar Liar (1997)

Jim Carrey plays a successful lawyer and not so successful divorced father. When he fails to make an appearance at his son’s birthday party, the boy wishes for his father to be compelled to speak only the truth for 24 hours. Magically, the wish comes true, and the lawyer, who has built his life and career on his skill at lying finds himself blurting out the truth without being able to control it. Hilarity ensues.

Yes Man (2008)

Carrey plays a loser whose life takes a positive turn after he adopts a self-help program requiring him to say yes to everything, leading to a series of madcap hijinks.

A Matter of Taste (2010)

Hal French (Jim Carrey) is a famous San Francisco restaurant critic whose reviews spell life or death for every establishment he visits. When he pans The Gypsy Kitchen, the owner puts a curse on him: he still has a refined sense of taste, but can only hold down food that’s been boiled to a tasteless mush. What’s a foodie to do — does he continue his career, only to violently spew at every restaurant he visits, or will he learn to live on nothing but gruel? The scene of his anniversary celebration at his favorite Indian restaurant is a tragi-comic revelation.

That’s Agoraphobia! (2013)

Carrey plays a successful advertising executive whose agency is sued after a product they promoted proves to be a serious health hazard and causes the deaths of hundreds of small children. He quits his job, breaks up with his fiancée, and locks himself in his apartment, where he does little more than watch old situation comedies, masturbate, cry, and obsessively wash himself with bleach.

Advertising is often about comparison: our product is better than their product.

It’s not uncommon for that to extend to a representation of the people using the products. That is, because our product is better than their product, the users of our product have some advantage over those who use their product. They may be happier, more successful, sexier, wealthier, etc.

Sometimes, this rubs off on the user of the superior product, making them kind of cocky. They’ve made the right choice, and they seem to feel that that makes them better than the poor slob who’s stuck with Brand X.

It’s one thing for the winning consumer to be a bit of an asshole, but some advertisers now appear to have decided that picking the right product gives one the right to take things a step or two further.

In a current spot for National Car Rental, John McEnroe explains the advantages of National’s Emerald Club and its new Emerald Aisle (faith and begorrah) feature: not only can you bypass the counter and all the paperwork, but you just go into the lot and pick whichever car you’d like.

Sounds pretty good, right? Keep in mind that this is John McEnroe, who is equally famous for tennis and temper. He demonstrates his freedom of choice in a lot full of cars by yelling, “Hey, Pal! That car’s mine!” at what appears to be one of maybe three other customers there, pulling a tennis racket and ball out of his carry-on, and serving the ball right into the poor man’s head, knocking him to the concrete, coffee cup, briefcase and all. If the tennis ball doesn’t give him a concussion, I’m sure the pavement does.

It should be noted that the Emerald Club rules stipulate that:

National Car Rental may disqualify any Member for any reason including such Member’s unacceptable driving record. Such disqualification is effective when it is entered into National Car Rental’s computer system.

I wonder if “any reason” includes assault on fellow Emerald Club members.

We’ve got a similar situation with Hall’s cough drops.

In the old days, a Hall’s ad would involve a person who had a bit of a cough or congestion. They’d pop a Hall’s and that menthol-lyptus stuff would go to work, sending waves of gentle, healing warmth through them, and they’d find themselves cleared out, comfortable, and happy. Nice and simple. But no more.

In a current spot on the eye of hell, our protagonist is in an elevator, standing right in the middle of the car. The door opens, and someone walks in. Our hero is pushed a bit to the side, expresses a touch of irritation on his face, and moves back into the middle of the car. The door opens again, and again he has to move out of the way to let someone through, again he becomes a little irritated, and again he moves back into the center of the elevator. The door opens yet again, and our hero is not a happy guy. You’d think that by now he’d have figured out that if he moved into a corner of the elevator, he could finish his ride thoroughly untouched, but he seems to believe that he has the right both to stand in the center and to have an invisible buffer zone around him. He thinks that other people should enter the elevator by pressing themselves up against the wall and squeezing by him as carefully and respectfully as possible.

So what does he do about it? He pulls out a Hall’s and pops it into his mouth. We see those waves of warmth and comfort like before… but something is different. Those waves are now weapons, forcing the other people up against the wall and literally flattening them — most likely causing permanent damage, perhaps death.

Is this really the message advertisers want to send? When did it become necessary for consumers to feel so superior for purchasing the right product that they believe they have the right to kill?

So, you’ve come up with the idea for a new product that you believe is going to tap right into the current zeitgeist and really excite the public. Congratulations. Obviously, you’re going to advertise online, since that’s such a cost-effective medium these days. Are you thinking about running spots on the eye of hell as well? That’s going to increase your costs, but it will guarantee a lot more eyes. And don’t forget that you don’t just have to pay for the time your ad spends on the air. You’ve also got to deal with the cost of production, which is likely to be a lot more than your web development budget.

A big part of that budget is going to go to getting a voice-over artist to read your copy. My advice is to spend the money to get this right. Listen closely to the people you audition. Obviously, you want them to convey the right mood. You want them to be able to get your audience excited about your product. But you also want them to sound like they know what they’re talking about. For example, if your product is powerful, and you want to make sure the public knows the product is powerful, be careful to hire an announcer who can say the word “powerful” without it coming out as “parful.”

Let’s say you’re selling a limited edition, uncirculated inaugural coin, layered in pure 24 karat gold. Sounds good? Well, that depends on how your announcer says those words. Don’t make the mistake these folks did.

Innoggeral? Uncirckalated? Those aren’t words. Laird is a word, albeit a somewhat archaic one, but I don’t think you want your potential customers to think they can buy a Scottish landowner who’s been dipped in gold — not from you, anyway. You’re going to have to deal with an awful lot of returns if you make that mistake.

Let this be a warning to you: if you’re going to advertise in a medium that requires voice-over talent, either choose an announcer who can say your words, or choose words your announcer can say. I don’t think that’s asking too much of you.

Go fuck yourself.

When I was a kid, you were my mother’s hero.

I’ve always been pretty close to agreement with you on the majority of political issues.

However, I never supported you politically, because I knew you never had a shot at being more than a spoiler, and because, if a miracle occurred and you actually won, I knew that you didn’t have the political skills to accomplish anything — anything once you were in power. A President Nader would be an angry curmudgeon, sitting in the White House and complaining that he was ignored by Congress.

In 2000, I thought it was a mistake for you to run, because of the chance you’d be a spoiler. You insisted that Bush and Gore were more or less the same. Well, you ended up being a spoiler, and nobody believes that a Gore administration could have possibly done the damage that Bush and company have over the past eight years.

When you ran in 2004 and again this year, it was clear to me that it was nothing more than ego. You’ll never even be a spoiler after 2000, and you have nothing to add to the debate anymore. You could have thrown your support to someone else, but no, it just had to be you.

And now, you respond to the election with a statement like that? You can just go fuck yourself.

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I remember my first vote: it was for Jesse Jackson, in the 1984 Massachusetts primary. I knew at the time that it was just symbolic, and I had no doubt that Reagan would win the election, but it mattered to me. When I saw Jackson crying last night… yup, the waterworks switched on.

…in Dixville Notch, NH. It’s official: 15 votes for Obama, 6 for McCain, 0 for Nader.

Hey, it’s a start.