Anyway, I think Dog hides out in Hawaii, where he’s a bit less likely to run into people who might be upset to hear him talking about ni****s (and you’re damn right I’m going to censor myself on that one).

Just for fun I thought I’d try some Indian food. Now, I was a bit intrigued by the very notion that Indians, or Native Americans as we call them now, had time to develop a full-blown cuisine. I mean where do you put a stove in a teepee?

When we got to the restaurant I notice that these weren’t Native American Indians, these were convenience store Indians. Folks there is a difference. Just think Apu from the Simpsons and you’ll get what I mean. Let me tell you this food is hot!!! Not hot like Anne Makris, but hot like Tabasco. I asked the waiter why do they put Tabasco on everything and he gave me a queer look. I doubt he spoke English. How did Ghandi keep to his non-violent vow eating this crap? It amazes me.

Anyhow, I was surprised that this place was like any other restaurant-no Mariachis playing, no Aztec calendars on the wall, no kids selling Chiclets. And just a few of the workers told me “Chinga to madre puto” which I am often told when I pass anyone who looks Hispanic (I think that means “Have a good day”).

You are probably right. He would then blame someone for the mistake.

I used to live in Lancaster. I now live in Lebanon, PA. Lebanon is right in the middle between Harrisburg, the state capital, Lancaster, and Reading. Lebanon is just east of Hershey, the Sweetest Place on Earth. Maybe we could get Billy Boy to go to Hershey and review the chocolate. You know the raw ingredients come from Africa and Central America. I am sure Bill O’ could find something disloyal in that. Especially since Hershey makes more chocolate in Mexico then here in Pennsylvania.

As I ventured into Chinatown I was recommended a nice place called Mr. Lee’s. Even though I don’t know how to read those darn letters because they all look the same I obtained correct directions from Mapquest and I was on my way. I thought all the traffic congestion on canal street was caused by those rickshaw drivers and those pesky fireworks going off every now and then but it turned out to be construction. After arriving at Mr. Lee’s I was greeted by a nice fellow who kept bowing at me so I was courteous and gave him some spare change. The decor was fabulous except for the lights made out of paper (fire hazard if you ask me). I didn’t see any pictures of Bruce Lee on the wall nor any ethnic fighting weapons of any kind. I asked to be seated next to the chef because I wanted to get a good look at the way they throw those knives in the air while preparing dinner but I was looked at rather awkwardly. The food was excellent. Although I thought most of it might be illegal to serve since they appeared to be on the endangered species list. If you are ever in China town I highly suggest Mr. Lee’s. PS. Don’t expect to see any massage parlors near the bathrooms.