Archive for February, 2007

Why does CNN continue to say “Paula’s on now” at all hours of the day and night when she’s not actually on until 8 pm?

Huh?

Tags: CNN, Paula Zahn

I’ve written before about a story on CNN that implied that atheists aren’t repulsed by extremist religious views. It was the sort of badly-worded statement that clearly wasn’t intended as an attack on atheists, but that showed a general lack of consideration:

His extremist views may be repugnant to the vast majority of muslims — in fact, anyone who believes in God.

Well, that was nothing. How about some overt atheist bashing?

This is just astonishing to me. They run a story that clearly shows that this family was discriminated against, and follow it up with a panel discussion that backs up just about everything that town did to the family. Where was the atheist on the panel, or at the very least, where was somebody who actually has an understanding of the first amendment? Freedom of religion doesn’t include freedom from religion? Yes, it fucking well does. Or at least it’s supposed to.

Remember when Time came out with its Person of the Year issue featuring the shiny shiny bit that was supposed to at least give you the idea that it was a mirror reflecting the image of YOU?

Well, I received something similar in my snail mail today. Wrapped in clear plastic, it was a white box measuring 15 x 12.5 x 1 cm, with a shiny surface with text on it visible through a window on the front. It looked like this:

After unwrapping it, I opened it like a book, and saw this:

What crap. I’m unique, and so is my business, so they’re going to get me to use their credit card by sending me one of a few million identical boxes. How much money was wasted on this garbage?

Thanks a bunch, Amex.

Tags: Junk Mail, Spam, Amex, American Express, Marketing

Dear Taco Bell,
I’ve been wondering about your “authentic carne asada steak.” That’s some fancy kind of steak, like Kobe beef, right? I imagine you’ve got people who spend their lives massaging cattle just to make your customers’ taquitos that much more special. Am I right?

See, I don’t speak Spanish, but I looked it up, and I figure this has got to be a coincidence. Carne asada has to be special. It can’t just be what it translates to, which is cooked meat. I bet after they slaughter the special carne asada cattle, they use their skins to make rich Corinthian leather.

Right?

Tags: Taco Bell, Carne Asada, Fast Food

This is your idea of terror, Boston? It’s Err, for fuck’s sake!

I was supposed to go to the pharmacy today, and instead I sat here terrorized by all that terror in the streets. The bridges were closed! The River Chuck was closed! They even found one of these “packages” here in the ‘Ville!

So because of this panic over a cartoon character, I wasn’t able to pick up my drugs — the drugs that are supposed to keep me from panicking over stuff like cartoon characters!

If anyone on the news had bothered to mention that these tools of terror were LED Mooninites, I could have told them not to worry. Instead of that, this day, which was supposed to be a joyful celebration of gorilla suits, is now going to live in infamy as the day of the Boston Magnetic Light Scare. (I will admit, however, that for a day about gorillas to become famous for guerrilla marketing is kind of cute.)

Honestly. Get a grip, Mayor Mumbles.

Tags: Boston, Terror, Err, Mooninite