The Wilma

Do you remember the episode of The Flintstones in which Fred becomes a scout master — the one where he goes to the big jubilee (or jamboree, or whatever it is scouts have) in Shangra-la-di-da Valley? No, this post is not about how the scouts treated prehistoric atheists and homosexuals. You’ll see where I’m going in just a moment.

Fred has been named the new leader of the Saber Tooth Tiger Patrol. He comes home wearing his usual schmatta, but with a difference: his tie is absent, and he’s got a hat, a kerchief, and a stick. Wilma sees him and asks, “Fred, what happened? Is there a war?” Fred chuckles and says, “No, this is a boy scout uniform.” Wilma makes some comment about how she’d thought maybe the army had gotten desperate and was scraping the bottom of the barrel, then does a double-take (or to be more accurate, her hair does a double-take) and exclaims, “A boy scout uniform???” You can see the scene here, and you’ll hear how Wilma stresses the word “scout.” You’re likely to notice that it sounds a little odd.

That’s because, under normal circumstances, the phrase “boy scout” has the stress on the “boy” (ouch). I’m sure you’ve all heard numerous examples of this phenomenon. Every now and then, someone says something like “probably,” and it just rubs you the wrong way. It doesn’t feel right. It’s just not the way you’d expect it to sound. Whenever someone puts the stress on the wrong syllable (ahem — syllable), it’s called a Wilma, in honor of that modern stone age lady.

You’ll hear quite a lot of Wilmas if you watch shows on the eye of hell in which people are reading from cue cards or prompters, because they often don’t see a full sentence while they’re reading it, so they’re not always sure of where to put that little punch. Wolf Blitzer is the undisputed king of the Wilma:

A dozen years ago Republicans took control of the House and the Senate in mid-term elections.

So, what is the proper response to a Wilma? There are two, the more common being to shout “Wilmaaaaaa” the way Fred did in the closing credits of the show. My favorite, however, is to quote Wilma herself. I just love to say, “a boy scout uniform???” I say it rather a lot actually, especially when I’m in the Situation Room with Wolfie and the gang.