LarrySo… he’s Larry the Cable Guy — Health Inspector. He has two jobs, right? The film is about America’s struggling working class, trying to make ends meet. No?

OK, so his name is Larry the Cable Guy (I think that’s Dutch), and he works as a health inspector. It’s one of those American Dream stories. He’s Dutch nobility, disowned by his family, who comes to the new world for a new life and finds happiness truly serving the public, unlike his ancestors, who claimed to serve the people but really just used them. Wrong again?

OK, fine. Larry the Cable Guy is his cutesy little hillbilly character. Does he have a real name? Even the Rock has started at least occasionally calling himself Dwayne Johnson. And why? Because he’s not playing a professional wrestler.

Our boy Larry is apparently , who isn’t even from the south. Why not just stick with “Larry”? He could be the of the 21st century, thrilling us with knee slappers like Larry the Rodeo Clown, Larry the Orthopaedic Surgeon, Larry the CIA Interrogator (Git ‘er waterboarded), Larry the Saucier, Larry the Internet Marketing Consultant, Larry the Faceless Bureaucrat, and Larry the Occupational Therapist. Surely that would be better than Larry the Cable Guy — Rodeo Clown, Larry the Cable Guy — Orthopaedic Surgeon, Larry the Cable Guy — CIA Interrogator, Larry the Cable Guy — Saucier, Larry the Cable Guy — Internet Marketing Consultant, Larry the Cable Guy — Faceless Bureaucrat, and Larry the Cable Guy — Occupational Therapist.

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